This or That Questions for Couples: 150 Flirty, Deep and Funny

9 min read · The Map

This or that questions for couples are quick two-option picks ("sunrise or sunset?") that you fire back and forth until you learn something new about each other. Below are 150 of them, sorted by vibe: funny, flirty (16+ friendly), deep and hard. At the end there's a cheat sheet on what your person's answers actually tell you.

And if the question you really want answered is "where do we actually stand?", The Map gets you there in eighteen taps, no guessing. Find where you stand

How to play this or that over text

1. Send three at once. Three is a vibe. Ten is homework.
2. Answer yours too. It's a game, not a survey.
3. Pick one answer to follow up on. "Wait, why mountains?" is where the real convo starts.
4. Switch who asks. The questions people choose tell you a lot too.

This or that vs would you rather: this or that is two simple picks. Would you rather questions for couples are scenarios ("would you rather lose your phone for a week or your voice for a day?"). Mix both if the chat goes quiet.

Funny this or that questions

1. Cats or dogs?
2. Pineapple on pizza: yes or crime?
3. Morning person or 2am person?
4. Be famous on TikTok or famous in history books?
5. Fries or onion rings?
6. Read the group chat or mute it forever?
7. Socks with slides or never?
8. Be a cartoon or a video game character?
9. Talk to animals or speak every language?
10. Cereal before milk or milk before cereal?
11. Always 10 minutes late or always 30 minutes early?
12. Unlimited Uber Eats or unlimited flights?
13. Group project leader or the one who vanishes?
14. Hot Cheetos or Takis?
15. Live without music or without memes?
16. Be the funny friend or the hot friend?
17. Burp the alphabet or whistle perfectly?
18. Matching couple costumes or ironic ones?
19. Never use emojis again or only use emojis?
20. Gym bro or couch goblin?
21. Shower thoughts or 3am thoughts?
22. Fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
23. Be the main character or the funny side character?
24. Chicken nuggets or chicken tenders?
25. Know every secret or keep every secret?
26. Lose your phone or your wallet?
27. Live in a treehouse or a houseboat?
28. Karaoke or escape room?
29. Wear only one color forever or one outfit forever?
30. Spill tea or keep tea?
31. Text with perfect grammar or all lowercase?
32. Be a ghost or a vampire?
33. Snacks at the movies or snacks you sneak in?
34. Netflix or YouTube rabbit hole?
35. Duolingo streak or Snapchat streak?

Flirty this or that questions (16+ friendly)

These are this or that questions for couples flirty over text, kept cute rather than explicit. Good for the talking stage too.

36. Forehead kisses or cheek kisses?
37. Hold hands or arm around the shoulder?
38. Good morning text or goodnight call?
39. Hoodie stealing: cute or criminal?
40. Slow dance or silly dance?
41. Love notes or voice notes?
42. Your laugh or your smile (which do I like more)?
43. Surprise date or planned date?
44. Compliments in public or in private?
45. Cuddle on the couch or cuddle in a blanket fort?
46. Me in a hoodie or me dressed up?
47. Late-night drive or early-morning walk?
48. Matching bracelets or matching phone wallpapers?
49. First kiss in the rain or under fairy lights?
50. Playful teasing or straight-up sweet talk?
51. Hold my hand under the table or in front of everyone?
52. Flirty stare across the room or flirty text from across the room?
53. Movie night at mine or yours?
54. Song dedication or handwritten letter?
55. Hug from behind or bear hug?
56. Pet names or real names?
57. Soft launch or hard launch?
58. Couple photo booth or couple mirror selfie?
59. Picnic date or arcade date?
60. Cook together or order in together?
61. Romantic or chaotic anniversary?
62. Me falling asleep on FaceTime: cute or annoying?
63. Sweet good luck text before a test or a pep talk call?
64. Flowers or snacks as a gift?
65. Being the big spoon or little spoon?

Deep this or that questions

This is where this or that questions for couples to know each other actually earn their keep. Slow down here and ask "why?" after each one.

66. Be understood or be admired?
67. Talk it out immediately or cool off first?
68. Say "I love you" a lot or show it a lot?
69. Big friend group or a tiny circle?
70. Move far away or stay near family?
71. Plan everything or go with the flow?
72. Comfort with words or with presence?
73. Know your future or be surprised by it?
74. Be right or be at peace?
75. Get reassurance by text or in person?
76. Space after a fight or closeness after a fight?
77. Celebrate wins loudly or quietly?
78. Fix the problem or just listen?
79. Trust easily or slowly?
80. Live for now or save for later?
81. Remember everything or forget the bad stuff?
82. One deep conversation or lots of small check-ins?
83. Change one thing about the past or know one thing about the future?
84. Feel safe or feel excited?
85. Be told the hard truth or a kind version?
86. Alone time daily or weekly?
87. Big dream career or calm, stable life?
88. Apologize first or wait to be apologized to?
89. Text every day or talk when it matters?
90. Share everything or keep some things private?
91. Be needed or be wanted?
92. Write it down or say it out loud?
93. Grow up fast or stay young forever?
94. Your friends' opinion or your gut?
95. Love that's calm or love that's intense?
96. Forgive and forget or forgive and remember?
97. Be the one who reaches out or the one who's reached for?
98. Home as a place or home as a person?
99. Plan the next five years or the next five days?
100. Show your feelings or hide them until you're sure?

Hard this or that questions

These are this or that questions for couples hard enough to make you both pause. Save them for when you're settled, not mid-argument.

101. Honest partner who hurts you sometimes or kind one who lies sometimes?
102. Stay in a comfy relationship or risk it for something better?
103. Know what they really think of you or never know?
104. Long distance for a year or break up and reconnect later?
105. Read their texts or never be allowed to?
106. Be loved more or love more?
107. Partner your family hates or partner your friends hate?
108. Lose all your memories with them or never meet them?
109. Big fight that clears the air or small tension that never ends?
110. Know when the relationship ends or never know?
111. Your dream uni or staying with your person?
112. Be someone's first choice or their forever choice?
113. Get back with an ex or stay single a year?
114. Forgive cheating or forgive lying?
115. Partner who's always late or always on their phone?
116. Say what you need or hope they guess?
117. Give up social media or give up your best friend for a month?
118. Know every thought they have or have them know yours?
119. Perfect relationship with no passion or messy one with lots?
120. Be the one who leaves or the one who's left?
121. Pay for every date or never pay?
122. Your career or their career, if only one could win?
123. Meet their parents now or in a year?
124. Tell them a secret you've never told anyone or keep it forever?
125. Be with someone exactly like you or nothing like you?

Romantic quickfire round

Twenty-five this or that questions for couples romantic enough for an anniversary, or for a couple quiz night.

126. First date spot or a new spot? 127. Old photos or new memories? 128. Sunrise or sunset? 129. Stargazing or city lights? 130. Love letter or love song? 131. Slow morning or late night? 132. Dance in the kitchen or the rain? 133. Holding hands or linked arms? 134. Our song or a new song? 135. Weekend trip or staycation? 136. Rewatch our first convo or write our next chapter? 137. Breakfast in bed or dinner out? 138. Couple journal or couple playlist? 139. Matching tattoos (one day) or matching rings? 140. Paris or Tokyo? 141. Campfire or fireplace? 142. Cook for me or let me cook for you? 143. Surprise visit or planned visit? 144. Little gifts often or one big gift? 145. Say it first or hear it first? 146. Rainy day in or sunny day out? 147. Polaroids or phone pics? 148. Memory jar or bucket list? 149. Grow old somewhere quiet or somewhere loud? 150. You or... you. (Trick question.)

For more back-and-forth ideas, try our date night jar ideas or build a couple bucket list from your answers.

What their answers tell you

Here's the column nobody else gives you. These aren't diagnoses, just patterns worth noticing.

Spot patterns across many answers, not one. Honestly? That's hard from memory. You'll forget half of it by Thursday.

The Map does the pattern-spotting for you. Eighteen quick taps about one person place your dot on a map based on two things: how close you like to be and how much you worry when they go quiet. Invite your person and both dots sit on one map, but neither of you sees the other's answers. Find where you stand

Turn this or that questions for couples into a real habit

A game night is fun once. A five-minute ritual every evening is what actually makes you closer. With The Map you answer eighteen taps about your person (around three minutes), see which of four regions your dot lands in, then get one five-minute card each evening to do with them. Start in the next minute.

Find where you stand

FAQ

What are good this or that questions for couples to ask over text?

Start with funny ones (Takis or Hot Cheetos?) to set a light tone, then slide into flirty this or that questions over text like "good morning text or goodnight call?" Send three at a time and answer your own picks so it feels like a game.

What's the difference between this or that and would you rather questions for couples?

This or that gives two quick options with no setup. Would you rather questions describe a scenario with a tradeoff. Both work as a relationship questions game, and mixing them keeps the chat from getting repetitive.

Are there deep this or that questions for couples that aren't awkward?

Yes. Questions like "fix it or just listen?" and "space after a fight or closeness?" feel light to answer but reveal how your person handles stress. Ask "why?" after each one for the real answer.

Can I make a this or that couples quiz from these?

Totally. Pick 10 questions, guess your partner's answers first, then compare. Score a point per correct guess. It works as a couple quiz for anniversaries, sleepovers or long-distance calls.