Talking Stage Questions: 100 to Ask a Guy or a Girl

8 min read · Beta Genz

Good talking stage questions help you get to know someone without it feeling like a job interview. Start light (favorite snacks, comfort shows), add funny and random ones to build inside jokes, then move to deeper questions and, eventually, the "what are we" ones. Below are 100 talking stage questions to ask a guy or a girl, sorted by how far into the talking stage you are.

If the chat keeps going quiet after your questions and you can't tell if they're into it, Say Less reads a screenshot of the conversation and gives you their interest level, plus three replies. Read my chat

Talking stage meaning, in one line: the talking stage is the "we text all the time and maybe like each other, but we're not dating" phase.

How to use these without it feeling like an interview

The fastest way to kill a talking stage is to fire questions like a quiz. A few rules:

• One question at a time. Never send three in a row.
• Answer it yourself too. "Mine's Shrek 2, what's yours?"
• Follow up. Their answer is the start, not the end. "Wait, why?"
• Match the stage. Deep questions in week one feel intense.
• Mix in normal chat. Memes, reactions, stories. Questions are seasoning, not the meal.

These work as talking stage questions over text or in person.

Easy first-week questions to ask your talking stage

Light, low pressure, good for the first few days. Good questions for talking stage beginnings:

1. What's your comfort show?
2. What are you listening to on repeat right now?
3. Sweet or salty snacks?
4. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
5. What's your go-to order at [fast food place]?
6. What do you do after school or work to chill?
7. Cats or dogs?
8. What's your favorite subject? Least favorite?
9. What's something you're weirdly good at?
10. What did you do last weekend?
11. Favorite season and why?
12. What's your screen time looking like? Be honest.
13. Do you play any sports or games?
14. What's the best thing that happened to you this week?
15. Beach trip or city trip?
16. What's your favorite emoji to use?
17. Are you close with your family?
18. Who's your favorite person in the friend group?
19. What's a food you could eat every day?
20. What's your dream job right now?

Funny talking stage questions (and random ones)

These build inside jokes, which is basically what a good talking stage runs on.

21. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
22. What's the most embarrassing song on your playlist?
23. What's your most irrational fear?
24. If you were a snack, what snack would you be?
25. What's the weirdest thing you've ever googled?
26. What would your villain origin story be?
27. Which teacher would win in a fight?
28. Hot dog: sandwich or not?
29. What's the dumbest way you've ever hurt yourself?
30. If your life was a TikTok trend, which one?
31. What's your toxic trait? (a funny one)
32. What's the worst haircut you've ever had?
33. If you got famous, what would it be for?
34. What's one food everyone loves that you think is overrated?
35. What's the most chaotic thing in your camera roll right now?
36. What would you name a pet rock?
37. What's your karaoke song?
38. What's the most "main character" thing you've done?
39. If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
40. Describe your vibe in three emojis.

Deep talking stage questions

For when you've been talking a few weeks and the late-night chats get real. Don't open with these.

41. What's something people get wrong about you?
42. Who's the person you trust most?
43. What's something you're proud of that nobody really knows about?
44. What stresses you out the most right now?
45. What does a good day look like for you?
46. What's a memory you'd relive if you could?
47. What makes you feel most like yourself?
48. Do you think you've changed a lot in the last year?
49. What are you most scared of about the future?
50. What's something you want to get better at?
51. What do you do when you're sad?
52. What does being a good friend mean to you?
53. Who do you look up to?
54. What's the best advice you've ever gotten?
55. What's something you're still figuring out?
56. Do you show you care through words or actions?
57. What's a small thing that makes your whole day better?
58. What's the hardest thing you've gone through?
59. What are you looking forward to this year?
60. What's something you've never told anyone you met recently?

Deep talking stage questions only work if you share too. Being open makes it feel like a conversation, not a therapy session.

Here's the hard part: after a deep question, you send it and then spend an hour reading into how they answered. Short reply? Long reply? No follow-up question? Say Less reads the whole chat screenshot and gives you their interest level with three replies to send next. Read my chat

Green flag and red flag check questions

These help you figure out if this person is actually good for you. Ask them naturally, spread out.

Green flag questions

61. How do you act when you're mad at a friend?
62. What do you do when someone's having a bad day?
63. How do you feel about your exes or old friends? (listen for kindness, not hate)
64. What do you think makes a relationship work?
65. How do you handle it when you mess up?
66. What's your relationship like with your parents?
67. How do you feel about your friends having their own thing going on?
68. What do you value most in people?

Red flag questions to ask

69. Do you get jealous easily?
70. How would you feel if I hung out with my friends instead of texting you?
71. Have you ever gone through someone's phone?
72. Are you still talking to anyone else?
73. How do you feel about keeping things private vs posting?
74. What happened with your last talking stage?

What to watch for: anyone who wants your passwords, gets angry when you see friends, or pressures you. Those are red flags, full stop. Tell a friend or trusted adult if something feels off.

"What are we?" questions

When you're ready to move past the talking stage. Ask one, not all of them.

75. So what are we doing? (light, with a 😂)
76. Are you talking to anyone else?
77. Do you see this going anywhere?
78. Would you call this a talking stage?
79. Should we actually go on a date?
80. What do you want out of this?
81. How would you introduce me to your friends?
82. Do you want to make this official?
83. Are we exclusive, or is that too early?
84. What made you start texting me?

Before you get there, a first hangout helps. Our guide to asking someone out over text has scripts.

Bonus: cute questions to ask your crush (and ones for a guy or girl)

Talking stage questions to ask a guy

85. What's a game you'd recommend I try?
86. What's something you secretly like that your friends would roast you for?
87. Do you have a hype song before games or tests?
88. What's your idea of a perfect day out?
89. What's the best compliment you've ever gotten?
90. What do you notice first about someone?

Talking stage questions to ask a girl

91. What's your comfort movie when you're sad?
92. What's one thing on your bucket list?
93. Which friend knows you best?
94. What's your favorite outfit you own?
95. What would your dream weekend look like?
96. What's a compliment that would make your whole week?

Four more questions to ask your crush

97. What's the first thing you noticed about me? (only if things are going well)
98. Who texts more, honestly, you or me?
99. What's one inside joke we have that you'd keep forever?
100. What should we do next weekend?

Questions to skip

Some questions make it weird, fast:

• Body or looks questions. Uncomfortable and not okay.
• "Why didn't you reply?" in the first week. Comes off needy.
• Interrogating their past. One or two questions, fine. Twenty, no.
• Anything that pressures them to send photos, share passwords or keep secrets from parents. If someone asks you these, that's a red flag.
• "Do you like me?" too early. Let it build.

Know if your questions are landing

You've got 100 talking stage questions. The hard part is reading the answers. Drop a screenshot into Say Less and get their interest level plus three replies you can send right now. No account needed to try it, and the unlock price is shown before you pay.

Read my chat

FAQ

What are good talking stage questions over text?

Start with easy ones (comfort show, music, snacks), then funny would-you-rathers, then deeper questions after a few weeks. Ask one at a time and answer them yourself too.

How long should a talking stage last?

There's no set rule. Some move to dating in a couple of weeks, some take longer. If it's been months with no clarity, it's fair to ask a "what are we" question.

What are deep talking stage questions to ask?

"What's something people get wrong about you?" and "What does a good day look like for you?" are good starts. Save them for when you're comfortable, usually late-night chats a few weeks in.

What questions should you ask your talking stage to spot red flags?

Ask how they handle jealousy, how they talk about exes and how they'd feel about you having your own plans. Their tone matters as much as their answer.

What are the best talking stage questions to ask a guy?

Ones that get him talking about what he's into: games, sports, music, hype songs. Follow up on his answers and he'll open up more.